VETO TEXASLAND TEA #1
The tea they forgot to steep.
Presented by Veto Texasland
WELCOME TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE
Welcome to the first edition of Veto TexasLand Tea, where we celebrate a different Texas tradition:
People minding their own business on their own land.
Before we dive in, here's a little Texas tidbit to set the mood.
For generations, rural Texans have managed to raise cattle, maintain pastures, dig wells, survive droughts, repair fences, watch creeks rise, maintain agricultural land and generally understand that owning a cow does not automatically make you a rancher.
Remarkable.
No MBA required.
A TYPICALLY WALLER COUNTY WEEKEND
TexasLand's newsletter offered readers a delightful itinerary involving cattle auctions, fried catfish, Blue Bell and shopping.
We thought we'd offer one too.
FRIDAY: CATTLE, CREEKS & CONCRETE
Morning — Wake up somewhere you can still hear cattle instead of roller coasters.
Late morning — Check the fence.
Noon — Wonder how many vehicles a two-lane farm road was originally designed to accommodate.
Lunch — Eat something without pretending it constitutes an economic-development strategy.
Afternoon — Check your well.
Evening — Sit on the porch and enjoy the dark Texas sky while supplies last.
Night — Google “light pollution.”
SATURDAY: THE WALKABLE WALLER COUNTY EXPERIENCE — WHAT?!
Here's a hot take that'll knock your boots off:
Waller County isn't Houston.
We know.
Bear with us.
You might even need a vehicle to get places.
That's because rural communities traditionally contain things such as farms, ranches, acreage and homes that aren't stacked on top of one another.
Crazy stuff.
Our recommended itinerary:
Wake up.
Walk outside.
Look at an actual pasture.
See an actual cow.
Experience authentic Texas.
Admission: $0.
Gift shop: also $0.
Parking: strangely abundant.
THE AUTHENTIC RANCHING EXPERIENCE™
TexasLand Tea proudly announced that the team went to a livestock auction and returned with its first Longhorn, Miss Do Magnolia, who was subsequently confirmed pregnant.
We congratulate everyone involved on discovering cattle.
Here in rural Texas, we've heard rumors that some people have been doing this for quite some time.
Some of them even own several cows simultaneously.
Experts call this phenomenon:
Ranching.
Researchers are still investigating.
ALL WEEKEND: THE REAL TEXAS EXPERIENCE
Want to know what Texas is made of?
You don't necessarily need to build it.
Drive a county road.
Visit a working ranch.
Buy something from a local business.
Go to a livestock show.
Attend a rodeo.
Sit beneath an oak tree.
Watch cattle cross a pasture.
Listen to coyotes after dark.
Look up and see the Milky Way.
Talk to somebody whose family has worked the same piece of land for generations.
Texas isn't suffering from a shortage of Texas.
It may, however, eventually suffer from a shortage of places where you can still find it.
HIGH, LOW, BULL
TexasLand has “High, Low, Buffalo,” where its Q1 high was a 12,000-step Houston Saturday, its low was late nights in Excel, and its “Buffalo” was discovering the Longhorn was pregnant.
We have our own version.
HIGH
Standing outside at night and still being able to see the stars.
LOW
Realizing somebody looked at peaceful Texas countryside and apparently thought:
“You know what this needs? A theme park.”
BULL
We'll let readers fill this one in themselves.
OUR Q1 FITNESS CHALLENGE
TexasLand celebrated logging 12,000+ steps around Houston.
We're introducing the Waller County Development Fitness Program™.
Activities include:
Walking your property looking for survey stakes.
Running outside every time you hear heavy equipment.
Jumping to conclusions after hearing the phrase “minimal impact.”
Stretching the definition of rural compatibility.
And our favorite:
The Infrastructure Plank
Hold yourself perfectly still while waiting for someone to explain where all the water, wastewater capacity and traffic infrastructure are supposed to come from.
Advanced participants: continue holding until someone gives you an answer.
IT'S ALREADY FEELING LIKE SUMMER!
TexasLand closed its newsletter by reminding readers that summer means it's time to buy TexasLand swimwear, including swimsuits, swim trunks, rash guards and hats.
Coincidentally, we've also been thinking about water.
Just...
a different kind.
Aquifer water.
Well water.
Wastewater.
Stormwater.
Runoff.
Detention.
Drainage.
You know.
The boring water.
The kind you have to figure out before thousands of people arrive wearing swimsuits.
THIS QUARTER'S FEATURED MERCH
VETO TEXASLAND TRASH BAGS
Perfect for roadside litter, discarded development promises, and whatever is left of the phrase “preserving rural character.”
THE ORANGE COWBOY HAT
Nothing says authentic rural Texas quite like dressing for it after you arrive.
ROADKILL MOUSE PAD
Bring the future roadside experience directly to your desk.
“REAL TEXAS — FORMERLY” COLLECTION
Celebrate the countryside before somebody celebrates it for you.
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
Get outside.
Enjoy the pasture.
Wave to your neighbors.
Listen to the cattle.
Look at the stars.
Take pictures.
Because apparently somebody needs to document what actual Texas looked like before we're asked to buy a ticket to see the reproduction.
VETO TEXASLAND TEA
No investors. No imagineers. No admission required.
Just the people who were already here.